Teen Talk with Tara: Putting Shyness in the Spotlight

Teen Talk with Tara

Putting Shyness in the Spotlight
School has just gotten under way and for some kids, being shy keeps them from doing things they really want to do.

Meeting new kids in school, sitting in the cafeteria for lunch, or even reading out loud can be very stressful if you are shy.

Here is something you may not know, though. Many famous people are just like you. Did you know that some of our nation’s Presidents were shy? It’s true. Abraham Lincoln, Theodore Roosevelt and Thomas Jefferson are three very famous Americans, but they too, were troubled with shyness. Many of Hollywood’s rich and famous are also very, very shy. Elvis Presley was and Jim Carrey and Brad Pitt are said to be among the shyest of Hollywood’s superstars.

So because you are shy now, doesn’t mean you can’t overcome these feelings in the future.

So what is shyness? Shyness is when you are hesitant, worried or uncomfortable in certain kinds of social situations. You may have shy parents or siblings who you have learned this behavior from or you may have received criticism in the past from a teacher who might keep you from raising your hand to answer a question. Although everyone has felt this way at one time or another, when these feelings interfere with a person’s life, shyness now becomes a problem. Sometimes these feelings are unavoidable, but there are ways to minimize the discomfort so that people with a tendency to be shy can still participate in social situations, or take part in activities that are lots of fun.

Here are a few ideas that may work to help you overcome shyness:

Get prepared — Knowing that you will be in a social situation allows you time
to get ready.

Do your homework — Prepare to talk about several things that may be of interest to the people you will see. Current events, interesting new Hollywood gossip, the latest technological toys on the market, or the song you just heard by a hot new artist makes for excellent conversation starters. If you come prepared and open the conversation with something of interest, starting a conversation will be easier.

Rehearse — Practice what you are going to say. It doesn’t have to be perfect, but it will become easier to talk to new people if you are prepared with something interesting to discuss. Next, some experts suggest that you let people know you are shy.

Here’s why: Kids might think you are rude or snobby if you don’t talk with them, make eye contact or smile. If you tell people that you are shy, most people will be willing to help. People will make it easier to talk to them, and they will be happy to talk to you because they know you are making an effort. Making the effort is important to improvement. Just like you didn’t learn to ride a bike in one day, overcoming shyness will not happen overnight. It takes time and lots of preparation and practice to improve your social skills and help you to feel more comfortable around others. Finally, pick one area you are determined to improve on and stay with it. It is too overwhelming to think about everything at once. Choose one challenge, such as improving your eye contact, smiling, learning to begin a conversation, just saying “hi” to a new friend or introducing yourself and asking their name, and concentrate on that area until it is easier for you. When you target one area, these new social skills will not overwhelm you. Now that a new school year has started, you will be ready to start practicing your new skills. Smile, say “hi,” introduce yourself, and remember this: Being shy is not incurable. Soon, you, too, will be able to overcome your fears.