Cyber Bullies: The New Online Danger - Big Y® World Class Market®

The Bully Goes Cyber
In the old days, the bully was the big kid with big problems. The outcast. The social misfit who felt badly about himself and took it out on others, building himself up by tearing others down. The bully always seemed to be roaming the halls at school, acting like he had the power and the right to make judgment calls on others’ appearances and behavior. When you were his victim, it hurt. It was demeaning, mean-spirited and unfair. You may not have thought about the school-yard bully lately — but guess what? He never went away. He has, however, changed some of his tactics. He’s online now, mean-spirited as ever, and may have your kid directly in his e-mail, instant messaging and blog-site sights.

Cyber Bully Tactics
A cyber bully uses today’s technologies to virtually push other kids around. To the cyber bully, social networking Web sites (like Facebook and MySpace) are the new playground, and vicious, anonymous messages are the new taunts. The cyber bully doesn’t have to worry about getting caught or exposed. This may even embolden him to send more hateful taunts than he might deliver to your child’s face.

If your child doesn’t quite fit the cyber bully’s mold, he has plenty of arrows in his online quiver. He can fire up a special Web site to make fun of your child and e-mail the whole class to take a peek. Some cyber bullies even steal others’ screen names and send fake messages, just to make things even worse.

Even with very little computer knowledge, a cyber bully can still victimize your child. And it could be happening to your child. Nearly one of five 6th- to 8th- graders reports having been cyber bullied. That’s almost 20%!

Put Up Your Cyber Dukes
Cyber bullies may think they have all the power. They’re wrong. You and your child can stop cyber bullies in their online tracks. It all begins with parents and kids being open about computer and cell phone use. There must be an agreement that, should a cyber bully attack, the whole family will respond. Often, kids fear that parents will simply take away the computers and cell phones to cure the problem. If that’s what your kids think, they are less likely to clue you in when there’s trouble. They want to stop the bully, but they don’t want to surrender their social connections. So make cyber bully defense a family affair. Here’s what you and your child can do:

Tips for Parents
Keep the family computer in a common area where you can keep an eye on it, not in your child’s bedroom.

Be involved when kids set up e-mail and chatroom accounts. Know your kids’ screen names and passwords.

Make sure there’s no personal information in any family member’s online profile.
Print out and save any evidence of cyber bully activity.

If you can, identify the bully and file a complaint with the cyber bully’s cell phone service or Internet service provider.

Contact the cyber bully’s parents with a certified letter. Explain what has happened, present the evidence (the printouts) and demand that the bullying stop. Politely state that you are willing to take legal action if the bullying continues.

If violent threats have been made, call the police immediately.

Tips to Share with Your Kids
Cyber bullies need information to attack your information. Don’t let them have it. Never give out personal information online.

Don’t share your passwords with anyone but your parents. Even your best friends should never have them.

Ignore the attacks. If you get a threatening message, don’t fire back. Cyber bullies want you to get upset; that’s their reward. Don’t encourage them.
Instead, keep a copy of the message and print it out to show your parents.
These printouts may be necessary to stop a cyber bully.

If you get an e-mail from someone you don’t know, don’t open it. And let your parents know immediately.

Whatever you put online can come back to haunt you. Don’t put anything out there that you wouldn’t want everyone to see.

If you’re upset, don’t send angry messages. Always ask yourself how you would feel about receiving your message before you send it.

Is Your Child a Cyber Bully?
There’s a final way to stop cyber bullying that all parents should be aware of. As hard as it may seem, take an objective look at your child. Is it possible that he or she may be a cyber bully? To help keep your child from joining the ranks of the cyber bullies, you should make sure he or she understands your rules for cell phone and computer use. And those rules should be basic, stern and evident — any signs of cyber bullying will be met with swift and certain sanctions. Cyber bullying is unacceptable!