Help for Today's Overscheduled Famillies

For today’s kids, the bell ringing may signal the end of the school day...but it also means another day is yet to begin. That’s the one that includes sports,
music lessons, activities, homework and anything else they can jam in before collapsing into bed. Is your child overscheduled to the point of overstress? It seems that kids are struggling under the weight of more than just their over packed book bags - and their parents are right there with them, limping along after work until they’re exhausted, too.

Our kids feel the pressure of trying to be the best at everything they attempt, whether it’s academics, athletics or art. And we feel the pressure of helping them succeed. But all of these extras come with a price tag that’s emotional as well as financial. What can you do to help when your stressed-out child comes to you and says, “Help! I have no time for myself anymore and I don’t know what to do?” And what can you do to help lower your own stress level? Really, it’s all about setting limits - limits for your child and for yourself.

Sometimes, ensuring your children’s success means taking a step back and a long, hard look at your family’s priorities.

If every hour from 3:00 p.m. in the afternoon until 11:00 p.m. at night is hyper-scheduled in 15-minute increments so that everyone can fit everything in, how much value is your family getting out of anything?

Limiting after-school activities can actually help everyone do their best at those things they do choose to participate in. While countless studies have shown that kids who participate in sports show improved self-esteem, learn good sportsmanship and enjoy a feeling of camaraderie with their peers, more than one sport can put them into overload. Kids in high school need more sleep than
they are usually able to get, and if they’re not starting their two hours of homework until after 9:00 p.m. every night, chances are they’re exhausted. It’s important to remember that kids need downtime, time to decompress. Simple things like watching a TV show together or enjoying an after-dinner treat are great ways to relax and bond as a family.

Your child’s overstuffed schedule affects you, too.
Someone has to provide transportation to all of those extra curriculars - and someone has to pay for them. What can you do when the financial and time burdens are simply too much?

It can be difficult trying to explain financial realities to kids who simply
NEED their new karate uniform or art supplies or extra credit classes. Does your
child truly understand the dollars-and-cents of everything? It might
help to translate the bottom line into terms they’ll understand: “Your purple belt will cost the same as 50 iTunes downloads.” “Your art supplies will cost the same as four nights out at the movies.” You might also consider having them earn some of their extras by doing chores, or strike a deal where they have to repay you if they drop out of a class or sport after the third week. Most of all, it’s important to remember that the word “no” is not a bad word. However, you may want to make it clear that just because you can’t afford a particular sport or class this year, you won’t rule it out in the future if your finances improve.

Sometimes, no matter what you do, even when you’ve limited activities to only the most important ones, you still can’t find the time to get everyone where they need to be. How can you help reduce your stress of feeling like you have to be in three places at once? By enlisting some help. Try to find an after-school helper to ease your 3:00 p.m. to 5:00 p.m. burden. If you are fortunate enough
to find someone with a license and a car, have your sitter shuffle everyone from place to place. Then you can pick everyone up on your way home from work. No extra car? Talk to your neighbors. Chances are you have one or two whose kids are in football with yours, and they’d probably be happy to shuttle your child back and forth to practice every once in a while. Offer to repay them by babysitting or helping with an errand or two when you’re not as busy.

Knowing your limits is the key to helping reduce the stress of today’s over-scheduled, over-burdened, over-achieving life. We can only be so many things to so many people. And today’s kids, under increased pressure of succeeding in school and outside of it, need their parents to help them maneuver their priorities. Remember, both you and your children’s well-being should always come first.

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